A mum has opened up about her struggles to raise her two-year-old daughter and says she has started to resent her child “more and more” as she gets older.
The parent, who remained anonymous, said that she and her partner were very happy to be parents to four children and had “no desire” to have a fifth.
But when their youngest child was only one, she unexpectedly became pregnant again, admitting the news “horrified” her as parenting was already very expensive and tiring for them both.
The pair slowly came to terms with the news and a baby girl named Lily arrived just before Christmas, with friends and family telling the mum the girl was her “special present”.
She told Honey : “But, while I do love her, I find that as she gets older I resent her more and more. It was hard enough looking after four kids, so five kids has really tipped me over the edge.
“I am constantly exhausted, always sleep deprived, I am so skinny, I can hardly put on any weight and I often have times when I wish I could run away to a desert island.
“Now that Lily is two, I find that I come up with all kinds of excuses not to spend time with her. The poor little girl – almost everything she does seems to annoy me and it’s not her fault at all. She’s a darling little girl and doesn’t deserve a mother who is constantly grumpy with her.”
She said that one day she plans to explain to her daughter that her older siblings wore her out, as she often finds her self talking abruptly to her or not taking places if it would result in further stress.
The mum said she often finds a babysitter for Lily and her little girl misses out on simple things such as supermarket shopping because she simply doesn’t have the energy to take her along.
She finished by adding that she hopes she will “soften my heart towards her” as time goes on as “it’s not her fault that she is here”, or that her parents struggle with money.
“I just wish I saw her as more of a blessing than I do right now,” she said.