A mum has shared a raw and honest open letter in which she says she preferred life before having children so much that she “wishes she never had them”.
The anonymous parent, who is mum to two boys, says she loves her children “with all of my heart” and does everything to give them a happy life.
But she said she wanted to voice an opinion that is “not ever said out loud by many people”, stating: “I think my life would be much better without them, because it was better without them.”
The mum explains that before having children, she loved her career and her husband, with the pair spending time traveling together and enjoying a busy social life.
She compares her old life to something out of a rom-com, adding that it wasn’t just a honeymoon phase but something that lasted 10 years.
But when the pair decided the time was right to have children, she says everything changed – and “not for the better”.
She wrote on Kidspot : “I am a mother of two, but I wish I was a mother of none.
“We had both wanted kids and we were excited about our first son’s arrival but for me, when it did happen, the reality just didn’t meet the expectation.
“I love him of course and he was an ‘easy’ baby in terms of sleeping and feeding and everything that makes a baby ‘easy’, but I just didn’t love being a mum; I didn’t love anything about it.
“It was the opposite, I was a person I never wanted to be – trapped and restricted by my own child.”
Despite her feelings, the parents decided to have a second child hoping it would “change things” but it didn’t. She still felt like she had lost her identity and was unable to give the time to the things she loved doing in life.
She says her career has stalled as she’s had to go part-time and although she still has a social life, her friends have also become parents but she just wishes they could make plans “without my kids, without their kids, without talking about kids, like what it used to be.”
The mum describes her children as “obstacles” getting in the way of how she wants to live her life and often daydreams of what it was like before.
She adds becoming a parents has changed her life in a way she never expected, seeing her become uninspired and furstrated.
The letter finishes: “If I knew how I would feel after having kids, I never would have had them because, trust me, this is not how I want to live my life.”