A woman has asked for advice after furious parents at her daughter’s school claimed she traumatised their children.
The mum was asked to help her daughter produce a family tree which she could show off to her classmates.
But she was criticised by fellow parents and the headteacher for the “morbid” nature of the project – after she included photos of headstones for family members who died.
Now she has asked for advice over whether she handled the situation unreasonably.
On Reddit, the anonymous mum explains that she grew up in care and lost her husband and son in a car crash.
Before completing the project, she warned the teacher that it might feature upsetting contents, but was asked to complete it anyway.
Now she has asked for advice after the contents of her family tree resulted in some upset parents.
In the ‘Am I an A**hole?’ forum, she explained: “My biological family is dead.
“I was raised in foster care, and so my friends are my family. I met my late husband in college.
“He was just raised by his mother, who had abandoned him and later died (no adoptive family).
“As an adult, I’ve looked into both trees and our biological ancestors are, to put it mildly, really dangerous people and/or dead.
“My late husband and older son died in a car crash.
“My daughter is in kindergarten and she, more accurately me, was supposed to do a family tree project for school.
“I tried speaking to her teacher that this was not going to be a Pollyanna report, but she is one of those people that can’t comprehend that sometimes family is a dark subject, and insisted that it needed to be biological.
“So, I did it. Some of them, like her father and my son, I have actual information for aside from that they’re dead.
“But for most of my family and her paternal family, I literally only have birth date, death date, when they would have had their kids, and cemetery information, unless they were cremated.
“It was supposed to have 10 pictures, but most of the pictures I have of any ancestors are just headstones.
“I made a trip when my husband and I first married to take pictures of the headstones, so I included those in there.
“I only have 3 pictures total of my biological family, and most of them are group shots where I could only label maybe 3 people.
“I don’t have any pictures of my late husband’s family from before me and my kids, but I put some of the old ones in there too.
“So while the other kids had long family trees, my daughter was basically introducing the concept of death to her kindergarten class.
“Now I’m getting slammed with calls from other parents, the teacher, and the principal.
“They’re appalled that I allowed such a “morbid” report and are saying I traumatized their children.
“I don’t think I did anything wrong. They wanted a report on her biological ancestors, I gave it, and kept it G-rated.
“I just didn’t lie that people were alive when they weren’t. I don’t raise her to think that death is taboo or something to be ashamed of anyway.
“Death is part of life. Most of her/my family is dead, so talking about family just means talking about death, and it’s just something you have to accept.”
Lots of people backed up the mum and assured her she hadn’t acted badly.
One person commented: ” The concept of life and death is complex for kindergarten age children.
“However, you warned the teacher and she was clear about what she expected from the project.”
Another replied: “I would be giving each parent that called a piece of my mind. It’s total BS for them to harass OP when she tried to tell the teacher the family tree wasn’t a good idea.
“But no, teacher knows best, and said it had to be biological, which is indeed discriminatory against adopted children.”
A third added: “Instead of offering sympathy to your daughter, these people only considered how they felt. Great parenting.”