A woman who had a miscarriage last year has spoken out about the “staggeringly crass” treatment she’s received from her mother-in-law.
The mum, who is now expecting a baby girl, says she recently announced the name of her daughter.
But her mother-in-law is acting unreasonably and wants to name the daughter.
The woman explains that a family tradition requires the firstborn children to have specific names.
And their child last year was given that name, in line with the families expectations.
But now the mother-in-law thinks their baby girl should be given that name too – in a blatant disregard of the tradition.
Now the woman has asked for advice on whether she is being unreasonable by refusing.
Unsurprisingly, the internet was on her side.
She explained: “There is a tradition in my husbands family to name the first born girl Lena (fake name) and the first born boy (Jude, real name but no one in the story has that name so I think it’s fine)
“Before the miscarriage we had never had a problem with those names and traditions and I think having family traditions are cute.
“However last year, before the miscarriage, we found out she was a girl so naturally we told everyone her name was Lena.
“Now I am currently 6 months pregnant and it’s another girl, my husband and I just announced the name, Elliana on Facebook.
“Most people just commented on how cute the name was or something similar.
“Then my MIL messaged me and started flipping out, she said that we had always agreed the babies first name would be Lena.
“I told her our first child was named Lena. We argued for a bit and then she sent a message that read “The agreement was your first BORN child” then she sent another message saying no matter what we name our child, she will always call her Lena.
“I immediately blocked her, I showed the messages to my husband who was p***** off.
“He sent her a message to say that we were cutting her off and that she will not get to meet the baby for a long time after it’s born. Then he blocked her as well.
“Lots of family members have been messaging us saying to cut her some slack as she’s “grieving” the fact that she’ll never have a grandchild named Lena (my husbands older brother has 3 boys and isn’t having any more kids).
“I feel that her comments were so unnecessary and she isn’t respecting that I still think of Lena as my child, but others think I was overreacting and I shouldn’t deprive my daughter of a relationship with her grandmother over some stupid remarks.”
Lots of people were outraged by the woman’s behaviour.
One person replied: “You lost your child and she had a name. Your MIL is so far out of line that I gasped when you mentioned her wording to you.
“Her comparing grief around not having a namesake to your loss of your daughter is staggeringly crass.”
Another blasted: “Firstly, it’s your choice to make between you and your husband.
“Just because it’s a tradition doesn’t mean you have to do it.
“Secondly, you did do it – just because you had a miscarriage doesn’t mean that wasn’t your child.
“And depending on how far along you were, a miscarriage can be pretty much giving birth anyway – a sad fact that not even many women know if they haven’t been through it.”