A woman who claims her boyfriend died suddenly has shared her heartbreak after learning he had a secret fiancée.
The unnamed woman revealed all in a post on Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum.
According to her post, she’d been in a long-distance relationship with a guy for almost a year, after meeting him through a dating app.
They’d been messaging and chatting on FaceTime everyday and were making plans for the future together.
Then one day out of the blue she says he just stopped responding to her.
She started doing some digging and found a post one of his friends had shared on Facebook, which informed people that he’d passed away.
Shocked, she did more research and claims she stumbled across his obituary online – and reading it “crushed” her heart.
She said: “I found his obituary, mentioning that he is survived by a loving fiancée. What?!? My mind blown, my world shook. My feelings of overwhelming grief and sadness became feelings of betrayal.
“But I was in denial. Maybe they broke up and no one knew?
“Then his best friend posted a tribute/eulogy of their friendship and at the end, he said how excited my boyfriend was to marry his fiancée and that she was the love his life. My heart crushed. I’m the other woman. How is that possible?”
The woman questions their relationship, but still believes their interactions were “genuine”.
“We met on a dating app so it’s not like I seduced him at a bar or something. He was actively looking for someone. If I’m just sex, why didn’t he end it after quarantine hit and he didn’t travel for work anymore and I couldn’t fly out to him.
“I re-read our texts to make sure that this wasn’t all one sided, was I imagining how much he cared? Was I ignoring red flags?”
She finished the post by writing that she was trying to move on, but has been struggling to cope.
“Everyday I walk around with a heaviness in my heart from grief but also from all the information I found out. I want to share it to lessen my burden and so that someone in his life knows that I existed and care about him and he cared about me.”
She asks fellow Reddit users for advice on what to do next – and whether she should tell his fiancée the truth.
People had mixed reactions.
One user said: “I personally would want to know to what kind of person I was about to get married to. I don’t want to put someone who doesn’t deserve it on a pedestal.”
A different person commented: “As someone who had a fiancé die suddenly, I would not want to know. It’s been 13 years and I still would not want to know. I really do not see any benefit for anyone in telling her. It would just cause her more pain that she does not deserve.”
Someone else added: “I’m not entirely convinced that either of the two options is undeniably the right choice. I lost my fiancé a year and a half ago to cancer and it’s been really hard moving forward but if I found out that he was cheating on me for part of our relationship I think I would stop actively mourning him but not the relationship.
“I’d probably question whether any future relationship is worth it because of how suddenly I went from being secure in the knowledge that I lost a wonderful man who loved me to having no idea who he actually was.”
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